A couple standing at sunset

Intimacy

We are used to saying that we have close people. Parents, relatives, friends, spouse, children, brothers and sisters. It is astonishing that some people associate this word with some kind of familiarity, predictability or a completely different meaning. However, it is just a way to separate their close ones from strangers, those with whom you feel good or okay from those with whom you feel not so well or bad.

Once I met a wonderful girl who literally turned my world upside down, showing me those sides of human relationships that I didn’t know about, or which I did not notice or did not want to notice. For a long time I couldn’t understand and explain what happened, why I am so attracted to this person, despite the fact that it wasn’t working out. The riddle remained unsolved for such a long time, until... until I met another girl like her. Oh, yes, it didn’t work with her either, but it isn’t so relevant now. The main thing is that I seem to understand what it was. I got to know intimacy and now I'm ready to tell you what it is. In my experience, this has never happened before, so it is not at all surprising that all of this is completely new and unfamiliar to me. I will tell you about the relationship between a man and a woman, but, in fact, almost everything applies to friends and relatives.

Intimacy is when the other person becomes important to you. What and how she thinks, what she feels and what she wants – it all becomes a continuation of you.

Intimacy is when you hear a person. Not only do you perceive and remember facts about her, but you also react to them emotionally and live it together with her.

Intimacy is when she feels good next to you, she is happy, she relaxes or switches on, opens up to you and invites yourself to open up.

Intimacy is when you smile together.

Intimacy is when you do not want to cross each other’s boundaries, because you like this exact version of this person, the way she is, and not the way you would like to see her.

Intimacy is when you want to learn more and more about a person, discover her new edges, empathize and feel her.

Intimacy is when “yes” means yes, and “no” means no and nothing else.

Intimacy is when you understand each other without words, guessing each other's thoughts and desires.

Intimacy is when you are not jealous of her, even if she did or does or wants to do something that you clearly do not like. Because she has her own reasons for it and it is better for her to act in this way.

Intimacy is when you do not hide that you feel bad and do not pretend that you do not care. When you openly talk about what you do not like, what bothers you, what you feel and are not at all embarrassed that you are alive.

Intimacy is when you are happy that she is doing well. Even if she is not with you, but with someone else.

Intimacy is when you feel comfortable with another person. When you can just be yourself without thinking about anything.

Intimacy is venturing out together. When you both go out into the world with your eyes wide open expecting nothing from it. You simply accept what is happening as it is.

Intimacy is spending time together and paying attention to each other. Doing something together, relaxing together, doing nothing together or being silent together. These can be shared habits, such as having a coffee and a croissant in the morning or having a beer and pizza in the evening or walking around town before work or cycling on a weekend just because you both enjoy it.

Intimacy is constant body contact. Touching each other, hugging each other, stroking each other, kissing each other. It is to feel the physical closeness of a person and to speak the language of your bodies.

Intimacy is to be happy together, to be sad together or to be angry together.

Intimacy is when you hear her quiet voice through the noise of a large crowd.

Intimacy is about giving small but important gestures to each other. These can be gifts, surprises or just everyday little things that are important for another person. Just like that, for no reason, give a bouquet of her favorite flowers or cook her favorite dish or unexpectedly invite her to her favourite band’s concert.

Intimacy is doing stupid things or fooling around together.

Intimacy is praising each other, supporting each other and sincerely admiring each other. Admire what she is, what she dreams of and what she aspires to be or what she has already achieved or maybe how she persistently works towards what she wants. Being happy from being admired or supported.

Intimacy is about helping each other in difficult situations as well as in everyday ones. It's just doing something for each other.

Intimacy is knowing that when you wake up tomorrow morning, you can choose not me and I not you. It is a joy that today we have chosen each other.

Intimacy is dreaming together and making plans for the future together.

If you add sexual attraction to intimacy, it will probably turn into love.

Now I know what it means to be really close to another person. This sets me at a certain level, which I am not ready to go below. Now I know exactly what I want, what I am looking for and what I strive for in relationships with other people. I am not ready to strive for less.

I want to believe and trust without hesitation.
Be beside you, not behind you.
Always wait for you, but don't expect from you.
To hold the hand, but not to hold on to freedom.
To love actions, to cherish and appreciate feelings, to protect them every moment.
Do not hide or keep silent.
To accept everything in you.
To love you, but not to hold you.
Appreciate without conditions and reasoning.
Join you, but don't invade you.